"Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep"
“When I am worried and cannot sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings”
As I lay tossing and turning the other night, unable to
sleep, these song lyrics came unbidden (I hadn’t thought of this particular
song from the movie White Christmas
in years) and
lodged themselves in my.
It’s funny, because the words are oddly perfect.
The fact of the matter is, I am insanely blessed and have
had such an incredible stay at home this holiday season. So when I lay in bed unable to sleep (who
knows why, but this is indeed a problem I’ve been having for the past week or
so), I really do find myself counting my blessings. And there are so many of them.
On this stint home, I’ve been blessed to reconnect with old
friends—hours spent sitting over a table or on a couch, saying all the things
that didn’t get said via Facebook messenger or Snapchat over the last few
months…or years. I deepened
relationships with people, made connections, rekindled friendships.
A week ago on Christmas Day, I found myself earnestly
thinking that I had no desire to go back to Guatemala, that I just wanted to
stay here with family and old friends forever.
I confess—that thought worried me.
Since I started my international stint, I have always found myself
excited to go home to family each Christmas and summer, but by the end of the
visit, equally excited to hop on a plane and return to work. I feel like if that ever changes—if I either
don’t want to come home or don’t want to go back—it will signal that a change
needs to be made in my life. And since I
committed to one more year in Guatemala, if I’m feeling more like Wisconsin is
where I should be, that’s not really a good thing. Fortunately though, as my departure date
neared and I look at getting on a plane tomorrow, I am ready, if not excited,
to go back, see my friends there, and create new adventures this spring.
So tonight, when my mind is abuzz with the prospect of
travel and unable to turn off, I will count my blessings instead of sheep. I’ll remember this feeling of being encased
in a bubble of happiness that I have had for the past two weeks. I’ll think of the people who are important to
me. There are so many; I’m not likely to
run out before morning comes.
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